Okay, I know I said I’d try to make fantasy hockey updates a weekly thing. But honestly, no one cares about this shit because they can just log in to to Yahoo! themsevles and look at the standings all on their damn own.

Fuck you.

Fantasy League Stats After 6 Weeks

God, look at Bryan up there in #1 spot still. What an asshole.

Here’s something to mix up these boring fucking posts, let’s take a look at the few trades that have taken place in our league over the past three weeks:

Splendid.

Here’s last week’s matchups and how we all ended up. I was stupid enough not to set my lineups from Thurs-Tues due to my Festing, but amazing managed to end up tying my opponent. Lucky. I hope it doesn’t end up hurting me too much for Week 4 either.

Finally, here’s the overall standings. Not surprisingly, no huge changes since last week.

Someone knock that smug asshole Bryan (The Two Minutemen) off his high horse!

Quick standings dump, no commentary today. Too busy preparing for my trip out to Gainesville for The Fest.

Back before the season started, we put out a call for anyone who wanted to join a joint HockeyPunx/Up The Pucks! fantasy hockey league. We quickly filled up our 20 open spots (Yahoo’s max) with various readers, listeners, bloggers, band members, and radio personnel.

That wasn’t surprising, seeing as how awesome and wildly popular both we and Up The Pucks! are, but what was surprising and fun to watch evolve is how everyone immediately started using punk rock-hockey puns as team names. Check out who’s who in our list of big names and influencial people in our league, as well as the celever team names everyone came up with. After that, check out week 1 matchup results.

Rollins Division
GoGoligoski Bordello - Peter, co-host of Up The Pucks!
hüskins dü - Ryan Lambert from Yahoo’s Puck Daddy, The Score’s Backhand Shelf, The Two-Line Pass, and more
Dillinger Fehr - Jer from HockeyPunx (hey that’s me!)
Crime in Ferriero - Ty Anderson from Hockey Buzz
Run DMSeabrook - Jason from Discard What You Don’t Need

MacKaye Division
A DarrenHelm Scream – Brandon, cohost of Up The Pucks!
Tyler Dead Kennedys – Jaye from Mile High Sticking
AnttiNiemiFlag - Steve Gunn, afternoon-drive talk radio host
AgainstShootouts! – KW, formerly of imadethismistake and many other punk/music projects
Dag BizNasty – Neil Greenberg from Washington Post, Russian Machine Never Breaks, and ESPN

Viscious Division
StreitlightManifesto – Link from Puck & Punk, former writer for HockeyPunx
The Bouncing Sopels – Cait Platt from HockeyN3rd
Brooklyn Jawbreakers – Mr. Fancy, occasional Up The Pucks! contributor
Dalek Stammer – Jay, formerly from Young, Poor, and Angry
LagwaGonchar – Johnny from Coyote Van Shakedown

Strummer Division
The Two Minutemen – Bryan, occasional HockeyPunx writer
CircleToewsTheSquare – Drew from LeVanDesigns
Don’t Be A Hejda – Stephen of Mile High Sticking
Iron Maddens – Pattrick, HockeyPunx/Up  The Pucks! enthusiast (tell us about yourself, Pattrick)
88 Fingers St. Louis – Kyle from the Moguls

After the jump, last week’s matchup result!
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UPDATE: League is now FULL. Sorry, Yahoo! maxed us out at 20 players.

This season’s league will combine fans, guest cohosts, writers, etc from both Up The Pucks and HockeyPunx all in one place. One large league for both entities. There are twenty different teams. We’ll posts occasional updates here on the blog.

With the real playoffs just days away, let’s get our fantasy playoff results our of the way here to make way for (hopefully) more ineteresting articles soon to be posted.

After a few hundred dollars worth of bribes, I came out on top this year (after finishing 2nd last year). The Dirt Boxes (who, if remember correctly, is Drew/Drewcifer on our message boards). Becca came out third. Here is the breakdown of how it all played out:

There was also a consolation game (not pictured) between THE WILD CATS and The Wookies to determine 7th and 8th place — CATS took 7th.

Alright, good game, everyone. We’ll see you next Fantasy season!

Here we are, at the HockeyPunx Fantasy Hockey Finals! Which is good news for all of you who aren’t playing, because that means after today’s post, we’ll only have one more post declaring the champions, and then you won’t see anything about Fantasy Hockey again until next season!

As you can see, RIPBIG took away the 5th place, er, trophy. This week, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th will be detrmined by two matchups (Zamboner – me vs The Dirt Boxes for first/second, and Becca vs Smash Mouth for 3rd/4th).

Since we’re also nice to the losers, there’s a consolation matchup to determine who is better among the two individuals who did the worst in the league. Here’s that matchup:

Too lazy to log in and figure out who you’re playing this week? That might make it hard to update your roster, but fine, here’s this week’s playoff matchups:

Woodcocks (“Drewcifer” on our forums, I believe), and R.I.P.B.I.G. (kylewilliam from imadethismistake, aka “prohibition” on our forums) were both eliminated last week, and are now playing for a consolation 5th place.

Next week, this week’s stars play for the big one.

Wait, what should we call our Championship?

Fantasy nerds rejoice, our playoff season has started! These days it’s more important than ever to stay on top of your team (if you made it in). Below are the first round brackets.

Good luck!

Here’s some important information for all 2 of you who are still paying attention to your fantasy hockey team in our very exclusive HockeyPunx fantasy league: March 17th is our trade deadline. Please take a look at how your team is doing and start retooling for the playoffs, which are right around the corner.

Don’t fuck this up, THIS IS YOUR YEAR.